Jumbled Words of Thanks

I’m sorry to whoever is about to read this, because it probably will make no sense. This post is

basically one of those that is just a jumbled up mess of what I’m feeling. There really is no structure or one true theme, but it’s one that means something to me. Although the words don’t work together to make a sensible piece of writing, I guess it just felt good to get it off my chest.              

 CAUTION: AGAIN, THIS WON'T MAKE SENSE

Thanksgiving is personally one of my favorite holidays, Christmas being the only exception. The only problem I have with this holiday of thanks is the way we “thank”. “Thankful for these people” and “Blessed for all I have” are common phrases sent out over social media, yet what bugs me is that so many people, and I can’t say everyone, but most people just use that because they need a comment on a post instead of it truly meaning something. For all that we have, we should spend a lot more time thanking God for what He has given us instead of worrying about the likes we got on our Turkey Day post on Instagram. And unfortunately, it’s even something I struggle with.

Yesterday, as I was with family, I guess I was just so consumed with a great attitude and enjoying the time with them (which isn't bad) that I didn't really thank God for all I had. There are so many things I am thankful for (family, friends, a good church, a bed, purified water, food in the fridge, a God who’s grace overwhelms me, an intervening Holy Spirit, parents who love each other and don’t fight, good health, and much more) and none of them crossed my mind yesterday.  This brought a terrible feeling in me today, and it’s one I can’t describe, but I know it’s guilt.

With all that God gives me, I can’t even open my bible every day because I “have better things to do.” The crappy feeling that I felt today was so bad, that I had to write this post. I was planning on writing a cliché thanksgiving one about all I was thankful for, but as I began writing, it didn't feel right. I knew I needed to get all I was feeling off my chest.

                

God has truly blessed me with all I have, and I know I can’t ever pay Him back, but it seems like I’m doing nothing to even show any appreciation. I take so much for granted when kids in our own city would do anything to have their mother back after a long fight of cancer. Why is it so hard for me to show my appreciation for what I've received?

As I’m writing this, there is nothing more I want than to worship God with all I have and show my gratitude. I've been listening to SYC music, and I’m not even singing, but it’s like these prayers are flowing out of me just by listening to the songs. That’s one of the reasons I am so thankful for an intervening Holy Spirit. One minute you can be down in the dumps yet the next can feel like you’re on a mountain. Just within writing this, I have gone from a guilt filled heart to one full of joy and gratitude.

                    There is nothing else I can say but “THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”