"Casual Believer" vs Disciple

I know it has been a while since I've posted, almost a whole year. That would be because I simply gave up on trying to keep this going. School became too much that this project was just getting "in the way."

But recently, about an hour ago, I started what I would say is one of the more challenging books I've ever read, Follow Me by David Platt. In each chapter, there are sections that are split up (which I've committed to reading at least one per day and occasionally writing about) to help Platt keep his main points focused. The first chapter was titled Unconverted Believers which hit me like a bullet. To describe a believer as unconverted was a weird thought to me. It seemed more of an oxymoron than anything else. Converting to a religion makes you a believer of that religion, right? Well to Platt, that was a bunch of bologna, and after reading the first section of that chapter, I had to agree with him. He starts the chapter/section out with a story of a woman named Ayan. Ayan was as Platt described her, "part of a people who pride themselves in being 100 percent Muslim." He then told all of the risks for someone like Ayan to leave Islam or convert to another religion. Platt challenges the reader to think about what it would be like to tell someone like Ayan about Jesus, You could either

1.  Tell her it's as easy as reciting a prayer and believing certain truths about Christianity             OR
2.  Tell her the TRUTH: that God is calling her to die...to die in herself and live through Him.

That instantly changed the way I looked at how we call people to Christ. It's not a simple prayer that gets us the so-rewarding relationship with Jesus that we all want. That was very challenging for me to hear. I had heard the verse about denying ourselves and taking up our cross before, but it never sank in until now. Platt continues telling the reader that he had actually met Ayan and how she did just that. She risked her life, left her family and friends, and took up her cross. Today, she spends every day telling her people about Christ. I don't know if I would do that. I like to think that I would, but if I was placed in her position with the choice of leaving everything I ever knew, I don't know if I could. 

Platt goes from telling the story of Ayan to the story in the Bible about the four fishermen who Jesus asked to follow Him. Jesus asked them to leave everything they ever knew or had and follow Him. Their response was to do exactly what he asked. They dropped their nets and followed Him. This really challenged me to do the same. I'm not going to drop out of school, leave my family without warning, and set out on my own journey. No, that isn't what Jesus is calling us to do. However, I do believe that He is asking us to get rid of the distractions in life and keep Him as our focus. That's a big task, I will admit, but I know that the reward is very worth it. 

"There is indescribable joy to be found, deep satisfaction to be felt, and an eternal purpose to be fulfilled in dying to ourselves and living for Him."

Woah! That is our reward. That is what Jesus offers us if we stop living casually and pick up the cross He so lovingly carried for us. I'm not saying I'm going to be perfect each day, but I am willing to try. I challenge whoever is reading this to try this along side me. It doesn't matter what you've done or where you are with God, because lately I've fallen off the road of righteousness myself, but God welcomes us back freely with open arms. I will be praying for you along your journey, and if you could pray for me as well, that would be very appreciated. Our God is Great and Loving; Holy and Wise; Welcoming and Gracious. I am very thankful for His steadfast compassion towards us, and I know He does great things in and through us. So I challenge you to die to yourself, your possessions, your fears, your addictions, whatever is holding you back, and just follow Him. I believe that He works in ways we can't fathom, and He can do anything if we pick up our cross and do what he so humbly asks us to do.

The God That Shows Up

I'm terribly sorry that I haven't posted in a while, but I hope everyone had a great holiday.

Anyways, today was a fantastic day full of donuts, Netflix, perfect weather, and a 5-hour nap. But I think the real reason today was so good was because of the mood I was in. It was weird because I wasn't in a mood that I would necessary call good, but it was almost like a neutral feeling, neither good nor bad. About 30 minutes ago, I finished a 30-minute run, which felt great. There is something about doing physical activity, especially running, that fills me to the brim with peace and "good" feelings. It's a way that I can be apart from the real world and just "run."

If I may, I'd like to flashback (I just used a noun as a verb) to this morning. As I was going throughout my day, my phone kept playing this one specific song. My phone sometimes plays music if I accidently hit a button, and the song "I Hear the Lord Passing By" played. Now sorry to whoever wrote the song, but I've never really been a fan of that hymn. (Disclaimer: Now that I look back, I can see God in this situation whereas at the moment I was just annoyed.) Anyways, I quickly turned the song off and went on with my day. Later today, the song started playing again, and I started to think that maybe my phone had some glitches in it, but once again, I shrugged it off and removed the sound from the speakers of my phone with the touching of the "pause" button.

Looking back, God was doing incredible things that at the moment seemed simple. He was foreshadowing what would happen later in my run. It amazes me that our God can do HUGE things that seem so miniscule and sometimes pointless at the moment, but turn out to be incredibly crazy sometime later. And the even more incredible thing is that it happens to all of us. Christian, Muslim; Black, White; Old, Young; Tall, Short; Ashamed, Proud; "On a mountain", or "In a valley"... NO MATTER WHAT, GOD SHOWS UP!!! God is soooo GREAT and I am so thankful for that.

Back to my run, as I started my run, I was listening to Spotify with my classical music playlist. Don't judge me for listening to classical music, but the genre really calms me when I run or do homework. I went to my running app and hit "start" The setting of the app makes it so that when you run, you get to listen to the "Now Playing" music. I hit start, but my classical repertoire suddenly changed to the song that had interrupted my day earlier (I Hear The Lord Passing By) Again, I was quick to change the song back, as I wasn't the biggest fan of the song. I paused my run, changed the music back to the classical playlist I have grown so fond of, and hit play again. What do you know? The music changed back into the song that had started to get on my nerves at the time. I figured out a way to prevent this from occurring and continued on my run.

4 miles later... cars passed with the sight of a weird kid in shorts laying on his concrete driveway trying to catch his breath (me). My goal for the run was to run under 30 minutes at a medium pace. I quickly found out with 400 meters left that I needed to sprint to my house in order to achieve this. That quarter of a mile was terrible and I was "dead" after since I am DEFINITELY NOT a sprinter. For the next 10 minutes, I layed on the cold, concrete ground and just layed there. I looked up at the incredible clouds and I couldn't help but think of the wonderful creator of them.

Last week, someone from church taught me an interesting way to pray called Mediation Prayer. It is a concept where you focus on breathing rather than the sounds around you. It is such an interesting way to pray, and I have grown very impressed with and have tried it a lot recently. She told us that it was a way for us to get closer to God and it allowed for a direct passage between us and the voice of God to open.

Now, I layed there on the ground taking part in this way of communicating with God, and I really wanted to hear His voice verbally. It's a lot to ask the God of the universe to verbally speak to you, and unfortunately, I didn't hear his voice, but I did get the great feeling I talked about at the beginning of this post. I didn't take the time to write 8 paragraphs to tell you that God didn't show up. Why? Because He did. As I was laying there I heard some music coming out of my headphones that I had taken out of my ears 5 minutes earlier. I pulled them closer to get hear the song better. "I Hear the Lord Passing By" was playing again. Now this was the moment that I knew all of the times that this song had played earlier meant something. God was there, and I could hear Him, but not in the way that I had originally asked. Through the lives of others, the sounds around me, and the advice I get from mentors, I can hear the Lord. It hit me that hearing God verbally is overrated because I believe God likes to change it up a bit and talk to people in different ways.

Thank You God for showing up in my life in different ways than you do in others' lives. It means a lot, and it shows me how much you love me. You continue to amaze me and I am so glad I have the opportunity to be yours. I probably should go take a shower now since this is all I've done since the run. I love you God, and I pray that with each day, I grow to love you more.

A Race and a Brother

For those of you who don't know, I joined cross country for the first time this year. This sport always interested me, and it was finally my chance to take part. It had been 2 years since I had run, so it was a rough start. The runs started out easy, and as they progressed got more challenging. Every time I ran, I knew I had to push myself to my absolute limit in order to improve. It was definitely challenging, but it is worth it every single time. 

Running, I've learned, is not all about the physical ability to run, but mostly about the mental state you are in. It is really easy to let the fatigue and cramps convince you to stop, but you have to tell yourself to continue on. While I run, all I can do is talk to God and try to push the thoughts of giving up out from my mind. 

Today, it was a "hard day" which means that we were asked to run at a  six minute(ish) pace. Thankfully, we ran a course of about 4 or so miles, so I was confident. I definitely wasn't in the front of the pack, but I stayed somewhere near the middle, so I knew that I was trying really hard, but I knew I could do better, as well. I pushed myself and pushed myself again, and it was great! 

When I say "great", I'm not saying that I didn't feel any pain, but the way I was performing was pleasing to me. Trying to keep up with the best runners was difficult. I really felt like giving up, but I knew I had to keep trying and push myself harder than I had been previously. When running, I always think of a close friend Ty Williams.

For those of you who don't know who Ty is, he was a great man who happened to be my small group leader. Fortunately, he was more to me than just a small group leader, he was a mentor, friend, and brother. He included everyone in everything he did, and he always had a smile on his face. Unfortunately he isn't here anymore to make jokes with, play ERS, and see every Sunday, but he still finds his way into my life everyday. Ty was a runner, and I know how much it meant to him. When I'm running and feel like I can't go any further, it's like Ty steps in as a coach encouraging me. I get this feeling that he runs right along side me, and it's a feeling that allows me to keep going and never give up.

Anyways, today as I was running, I felt like I couldn't continue on, but I prayed and I asked that God would stay along side me, as well as Ty. With about a mile left, I felt a tingling sensation in my right knee. By the time I had 800 meters left, my knee started to become extremely uncomfortable with pain becoming more and more disturbing by the step. Two or three people passed me, but I knew that I could fight the pain and finish strong... and I did. 

Now why did I share all this with you??? Well because I feel like the sport Cross Country is very much like life, especially the run I had today. Once Christ becomes a part of your life, it isn't the same; it's fantastic. It's like you're on the top of the world, just like the beginning of a run. Nothing is painful, and it seems like you could stay at a fast pace for a while, but soon enough you'll slow down, just like in life. 

The middle part of the run has a lot of ups and downs where you have enough in you to speed up, yet you want to save energy for later, so you aren't running your best. Life, like mentioned before, is just like this. It's very difficult to live a perfect life, so it's impossible to avoid failing. There will always be mountains and valleys, and there will be fast and slow times in life, yet just like in a race or practice, you can't give up and you must make it to the finish line. 

Ahhhh the finish line, such an amazing sight to see after a hard fought race. Our race called life is so difficult, but just like Ty being there supporting me in a run, we have the Holy Spirit, the interceding Holy Ghost. From the moment of acceptance of Christ to the moment of death, the Holy Spirit is with us every step of the way. Even when life takes the worst of turns, He's there, and that's so relieving.

Lastly, the pain in my knee represents the pain of life. The fear, doubt, regret, grief, failure, and much more, all cripple us in our races of life. And the pain of life can sometimes be so crippling that we feel like there is no hope and that no God would give us this pain, but the answer is He didn't. He uses the pain that shows up in our life to test us and see how much oomph we have left in us to finish our race. Just like the few people who passed me in the run, There will be others who excel in their relationship with Christ, but as long as you stick to it, that's all that matters.

Running has taught me more than I could ever imagine, and I'd like to say Thank You to Ty  and my Heavenly Father for being with me every race, practice, and step of the way.  

Jumbled Words of Thanks

I’m sorry to whoever is about to read this, because it probably will make no sense. This post is

basically one of those that is just a jumbled up mess of what I’m feeling. There really is no structure or one true theme, but it’s one that means something to me. Although the words don’t work together to make a sensible piece of writing, I guess it just felt good to get it off my chest.              

 CAUTION: AGAIN, THIS WON'T MAKE SENSE

Thanksgiving is personally one of my favorite holidays, Christmas being the only exception. The only problem I have with this holiday of thanks is the way we “thank”. “Thankful for these people” and “Blessed for all I have” are common phrases sent out over social media, yet what bugs me is that so many people, and I can’t say everyone, but most people just use that because they need a comment on a post instead of it truly meaning something. For all that we have, we should spend a lot more time thanking God for what He has given us instead of worrying about the likes we got on our Turkey Day post on Instagram. And unfortunately, it’s even something I struggle with.

Yesterday, as I was with family, I guess I was just so consumed with a great attitude and enjoying the time with them (which isn't bad) that I didn't really thank God for all I had. There are so many things I am thankful for (family, friends, a good church, a bed, purified water, food in the fridge, a God who’s grace overwhelms me, an intervening Holy Spirit, parents who love each other and don’t fight, good health, and much more) and none of them crossed my mind yesterday.  This brought a terrible feeling in me today, and it’s one I can’t describe, but I know it’s guilt.

With all that God gives me, I can’t even open my bible every day because I “have better things to do.” The crappy feeling that I felt today was so bad, that I had to write this post. I was planning on writing a cliché thanksgiving one about all I was thankful for, but as I began writing, it didn't feel right. I knew I needed to get all I was feeling off my chest.

                

God has truly blessed me with all I have, and I know I can’t ever pay Him back, but it seems like I’m doing nothing to even show any appreciation. I take so much for granted when kids in our own city would do anything to have their mother back after a long fight of cancer. Why is it so hard for me to show my appreciation for what I've received?

As I’m writing this, there is nothing more I want than to worship God with all I have and show my gratitude. I've been listening to SYC music, and I’m not even singing, but it’s like these prayers are flowing out of me just by listening to the songs. That’s one of the reasons I am so thankful for an intervening Holy Spirit. One minute you can be down in the dumps yet the next can feel like you’re on a mountain. Just within writing this, I have gone from a guilt filled heart to one full of joy and gratitude.

                    There is nothing else I can say but “THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Overwhelmed with Peace

It usually takes a lot to make people feel overwhelmed; the definition literally has the word “drown” in it. So as I think of what goes on in my life, I wonder how “overwhelmed” I really am. On the days where I feel like nothing is going right and I wonder where God is, I can’t help but feel “overwhelmed.” But I believe that no matter how stressed, anxious, or busy I am, it’s nothing compared to the overwhelming feeling we receive from the Holy Spirit. No earthly thing has the ability to overwhelm us the way our Lord can. When I am feeling anxious and stressed, it seems like I have so much to do that I can’t even think correctly. So what would it take to replace that overwhelming feeling of stress and nervousness with that of peace and grace? It seems impossible, which it is without God, but with God and the Holy Spirit in me, I am sure that thosefeelings can be obliterated.

Philippians 4: 6-7 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This verse may seem cliché, but every time I feel like I can’t handle the “crap” of this world, this verse comes to mind. It literally tells me to not be anxious and to pray. Prayer is one of my favorite ways to connect with God. One of my spiritual gifts is intercession, which is the gift to pray for others’ needs, and I have always enjoyed talking with the Lord. So if this verse tells me to pray and not hold in feelings of anxiety, then I know that God has my life in control. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God knows the plans He has for our lives. What a relief knowing we don’t have to know everything. Philippians goes on to say, in verse seven, that the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ. Not only are we given peace, but we are protected from those feelings of stress and anxiety in our lives. But then why do we still feel that way sometimes? To be completely honest, I don’t have an answer to that question, but I do know that grace is offered. Just like God offers forgiveness and eternal life, He offers peace. It comes down to free will.

The difficult thing about free will is that it’s our choice. There is no “maybe” or “I will every other Thursday”,but a box checking "yes" or "no." Sometimes it’s so difficult to check that box “yes” when our lives are so full of worldly things. So as an imperfect human, how can we choose to accept all that our fully righteous God gives us? I’m not saying that every day will be an easy walk and that box checked “yes” won't stay constant. What I’m saying is that we have to put forth our best effort. WE ARE A BROKEN RACE, so then that’s the definition of the human race, isn’t it? The one thing to be cautious about is to not allow this to be our excuse to not try.

Colossians 3:23-24 (ESV) “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” 

Our reward for putting our best foot forward is eternal life and a sense of peace. Whether that complete peace lasts a day, an hour, or a minute, it gives us a small glimpse of the eternal peace we will have in heaven.

Fresh Start

Sorry for the inconvenience, but I had to make a new blog since my old one wasn't working out, but I should have a new post coming your way in a couple of days.